


precious things.

by viperfizz



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Bonding, Canon Setting, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Journal Entries, M/M, Mutual Pining Implied, Pining, Slow Burn, arthur morgan is a chaotic bisexual, he's basically jus dealing w his gay feelings, mary linton mention tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26053051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viperfizz/pseuds/viperfizz
Summary: arthur writing in his journal ab his new found feelings for charles bc he is a sad gay cowboy in love
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	precious things.

Went hunting with Charles today. We had a nice time, the weather was real good. I would've had a nicer time if there weren't such a heavy feeling in my chest though. I can't quite explain it, nor do I really understand it. Maybe I'm just tired. We all been, since we've been trying to survive, and just barely doing so. Charles is a natural survivor. He told me stories on the way about being on his own ever since he was young, until he fell in with us. I ain't ever been so interested in what a man had to say in my entire life. Usually I wouldn't care too much about other people's personal business, but Charles always has something interesting to say when he chooses to. I have a lot of respect for him in that regard. Not often that you find a fella like that, especially one that's as gentle and kind as he is. Makes me sort of envious, in a weird way. 

\- 

Hunting with Charles has become a daily routine, but I can't say that I'm mad about it. We often mount up in the morning, and hunt during the day. There's a real nice spot he's been taking us to, but it ain't too close. Grizzlies area. I don't mind it, though. The company is nice and I'd like to think Charles thinks the same. We have nice, long conversations about a lot of different things. But sometimes we both choose silence instead. It's comforting, not having to talk. And somehow it's never the awkward type of silence you would expect.

-

Charles is just as much of an expert fisherman as he is a hunter. Guess that's what I should've expected. Everyone got tired of Pearson putting the same type of meat in his stew, so we were sent off to fish. I ain't so bad at fishing but compared to Charles I might as well throw away my bait and snap my pole. Had a few decent catches, but Charles caught a massive trout. Biggest I've ever seen. It'll make a fine dinner for tonight, I'd say. Surely I'm impressed with his skills. 

-

Charles and I stumbled into the wrong territory today. Should've known once we saw a dead body gutted out in the woods that something weren't right. We were just about to leave it be, until suddenly, this giant bear comes running at us -- we both nearly died. Guess that was just his appetizer and we were the main course. The sheer size of that thing was enough to make me freeze up, and I couldn't seem to move. Thanks to Charles grabbing onto me, though, we made it -- just about. Felt mighty strange being protected like that. Clearly I'm grateful -- I owe him my life. But I suppose being protected ain't what I'm used to. 

-

Saw Charles throw Micah to the ground like the rat he is. Called him a redskin, so it was well deserved. Thought about kicking him while he was down but it weren't my fight. 

-

Somehow, Charles often seems to make his way in here. I guess I only just now started to notice how much I write about him. Think about him, too. The heaviness in my chest hasn't really gone away. And I've realized that I only feel that way around Charles, for whatever reason. Makes me all nervous and I go on acting like a fool cause I can't think straight. Maybe it's just my need to impress him that's causing all this. Not quite in a competitive way, though. I guess I just seek his approval? Of what, I'm not sure. 

-

Charles and I ain't stopped hunting and I ain't stopped thinking about him. It's all so confusing. I feel like I did when I first met Mary. Making an utter fool out of myself, being all sweaty, wanting to be closer. Only, she's a woman and he's a man. Real strange. Not sure what all of this means. Even less sure about what all of this means about me. Guess I'm more lost than I thought I was. 

-

Got a good hunt today. Two bucks, actually. I also never noticed how close Charles sits next to me by the fire. Or that he willingly chooses to sit next to me almost every night. There's a warmth from him that's somehow even stronger than the flames, and it almost makes me feel safe. I wonder if he feels the same. Maybe that's why he sits so close. Who knows. 

-

Charles was teaching me all about poison arrows, and how to make them. Not to be used on animals, though. We took a break today, and had Sean and Bill do some work for once. Hopefully they actually come back with something good, but knowing them both, I ain't so sure. We shall see, I guess. Whenever Charles explains anything he gives me this big, soft smile. Don't think I've ever seen him that excited to talk to anyone before. I'd like to see him smile more. 

-

What is wrong with me? Fantasizing about love like some little boy again. With a man, nonetheless. My Lord, what got us here? And what am I to do now? Whole situation is confusing and I'm afraid I don't understand most of it. Part of it is him being a man, but another part of it has to do with me. Am I really that much of a fool to think I'd be able to get his attention? Well, I guess I have most of his attention -- but not the attention that I'm ashamed to admit I want. I don't know. My mind is racing, and I ain't thinking clearly. 

-

Been helping Charles chop wood. He chops, and I carry it to where it needs to go, and then we switch. I've always admired how hard working he is, and at the same time I've thought about how much of a break he deserves. But he likes to keep busy. Maybe I can convince him to take more breaks together. God, what is wrong with me.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i hope u enjoyed this lil snippet !! i hardly write anything so this territory is very new to me,, but?? maybe?? except something else in the future?? who knows! hope ur having a lovely day/night btw <3 n go to bed bc i know its 3 am n ur lookin 4 that charthur content to get u thru but it's bed time


End file.
